Trust Me

So, I apparently attract all the crazies. Something about me, or I have "SUCKER" written on my forehead, or I'm just a good person - they can tell! Last night I was dining outdoors with my sister, aunt and a friend. It was in a large plaza area, and people walking to and fro, but no one really bothers you. Until someone asked how old my nephew was. My nephews are CUTE, (Way cuter than yours, especially you Darrell.) So that question doesn't really phase me. Until the crazy started stroking my sleeping nephew's face and saying "Trust me. Okay? Trust me. Even if he wakes up, he'll be very happy. Trust me." Umm.. no thank you Crazy Lady? I didn't quite know what to say. I have this problem where I can't lie or be mean to random people and strangers, unless obviously there's a reason to or a direct affront... but you know Crazy People have feelings too... I think. So my sister starts saying how we don't know her and she doesn't want Crazy Lady touching her son. And I'm like yea, she's the mom, listen to her. You'd think she'd just be like "sure, sorry" and keep walking right. No... she starts grabbing my jacket (and my hair a little bit... ow) and yammering on about how you should follow your heart, listen to yourself, don't have any regrets, that she gets feelings deep inside and knows I'm a good person and to "TRUST ME" (she said that about sixty four times.) She said that I was good and that I shouldn't trust anyone if I get bad feelings about them, even if I think I know them. Not to go to temples because they'll brainwash me and read my fortune tell me bad things (and she said that she's been affected deeply by this) - and although I really am not a fan of having my fortune be told anyways, it was all kind of a little too much. She kept telling me that the people I was current eating dinner with weren't to be trusted and she "normally" doesn't really just bother random people (really?!) but she saw me and HAD to talk to me. Somewhere in the conversation she said "You probably think I'm drunk" out of nowhere and then later was like "yea... I'm drunk" - although she didn't really reek of alcohol or walk crooked, so my sister just thought she was crazy. She left to go to the bathroom and then came back and started talking to me again and telling me how the people in my life were bad... and finally I just had to tell her that I didn't appreciate her insulting my friends and that she could leave. And she did.. so it wasn't too terrible. It just got old after the first twelve "TRUST ME"s. My sister was cracking up to the point of tears in the background and the Crazy Lady was increasing her grip on my jacket/hair. Not cool lady....

So... who wants to hang out with me now? Free entertainment! And I'm good person... even crazy people can tell.

Super Sad Face

I don't know if you've heard of THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD (http://www.islandreefjob.com) - but it was almost mine. Had I not done my usual self-sabotaging/lazy-ass self, then maybe I wouldn't have procrastinated. Take this as a lesson to you all - and to myself. I guess I will be learning the lesson the hard way, by not spending 6 months in Australia, being paid to explore and blog.

The deadline came up a little quickly, and I planned on having last week off to work on it. But I didn't get last week off and work crazy hours, and on Saturday was sick/tired/lazy and didn't work on it either. I started working on it very late in the day on Saturday, and thought I had missed the deadline, but just decided to finish it anyways. I checked later, what the deadline was actually later than I thought it was, and I was energized to finish. I finished my very super cheesy totally shows I did this in a few hours but is super fucking awesome anyways cuz I'm rad video, and instead of uploading it, emailed it to my sister for "comments". I don't know what I was thinking, I wasn't realistically going to change it... I guess I just wanted approval, or maybe secretly I didn't want to not get picked (out of.. you know.. 34,000 applicants...) But I decided to sleep and upload it the following day because I had enough time. Congratulations to me, because the servers were jammed all day, and despite the 40 hours I spent, I could not get through. Lesson learned - be smarter, evaluate your options and judgement better, don't procrastinate.

It's sort of sad that I stayed up til all hours creating something and because of a moment of lameness, I'm not even going to get a "shot". In my idealistic world, I'd like to say that my video would have caught something amongst the recruiting group. But now I'll never know. I even sent them a "plea email" (as I'm sure SO many other people did) and while I knew it was a long shot, I thought I would send it anyways. After some sleep I realize "what have I got to lose". This is what they have to say on their website:

"Overnight about 4000 people tried to simultaneously upload their last minute applications, which unfortunately caused delays and some technical difficulties. We regret if this has caused frustration. To be fair to everyone, we can't accept applications via email or any other form. Due to the overwhelming amount of applications that we have received and the time required to process and shortlist for the next stage, we have to be very strict with the closing date. This means that applications have now closed and no discussion will be entered into regarding this matter."

Boo Urns.

Either way, like as said in the caption - hopefully this won't be the last video I make. But it might be the last one you see, of me, talking in my sickly almost man super sexy 3am voice. Oh man.. you should hear me now...

It's not quite Barney's Video Resume, and I "borrowed" one small idea from him - but I hope you have some crackers and wine handy cuz this thing is CHEESE.Y.

How I Realized That I Hate Gossip Girl

(12:31:30) rubbr xx duckee: ZOMGS. http://gawker.com/5145707/see--denorex-tingles
(12:44:58) benackerman1979: i know right?
(12:45:09) benackerman1979: blair and nate?
(12:45:10) benackerman1979: blech
(14:42:48) rubbr xx duckee: way better than vanessa and nate
(14:42:53) rubbr xx duckee: i fucking hate vanessa
(14:43:00) benackerman1979: haha
(14:43:15) benackerman1979: why?
(14:43:23) benackerman1979: shes kinda cute
(14:43:26) rubbr xx duckee: she's boring and annoying
(14:43:32) rubbr xx duckee: and she totally fucking stole mail!
(14:43:40) rubbr xx duckee: WHICH IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE
(14:44:01) benackerman1979: hahah
(14:44:05) benackerman1979: it is a federal offense
(14:44:09) benackerman1979: you're so moral
(14:45:01) rubbr xx duckee: plus it's like
(14:45:06) rubbr xx duckee: she doesn't know she's boring and annoying
(14:45:21) rubbr xx duckee: she just goes about her business, liking how she is. which is ANNOYING
(14:45:28) rubbr xx duckee: so she's boring, annoying, and ANNOYING
(14:45:29) benackerman1979: hahaha
(14:45:32) rubbr xx duckee: i should be a lawyer.
(14:45:35) benackerman1979: man i just don't get that
(14:45:48) benackerman1979: i mean
(14:45:53) benackerman1979: nate is ten times more boring than her
(14:46:40) rubbr xx duckee: and 20 times hotter
(14:46:45) rubbr xx duckee: so that's forgivable.
(14:46:48) benackerman1979: haha
(14:47:03) benackerman1979: i mean honestly
(14:47:05) benackerman1979: theyre all boring
(14:47:08) benackerman1979: except chuck and blair
(14:47:17) benackerman1979: so thats why blair and nate making out is lame
(14:47:20) rubbr xx duckee: yeah, but they're not all annoying
(14:47:22) rubbr xx duckee: just vanessa
(14:47:23) rubbr xx duckee: jenny
(14:47:26) rubbr xx duckee: dan and serena
(14:47:38) rubbr xx duckee: ....
(14:47:40) benackerman1979: hehe
(14:47:41) rubbr xx duckee: i think that's it
(14:47:47) benackerman1979: rufus is pretty annoying
(14:47:49) rubbr xx duckee: the rest are tolerable
(14:47:51) rubbr xx duckee: oh
(14:47:53) rubbr xx duckee: oh yeah he is!
(14:47:57) rubbr xx duckee: forgot about him
(14:48:05) benackerman1979: he's also the worst father of all time
(14:48:06) rubbr xx duckee: because i DON'T CARE ABOUT RUFUS AND LILY
(14:48:16) rubbr xx duckee: why can't that show get that through their heads!??!
(14:48:21) benackerman1979: hahah
(14:48:29) benackerman1979: yeh
(14:48:40) rubbr xx duckee: OMG I totally hate Gossip Girl.
(14:48:41) rubbr xx duckee: !!
(14:49:08) benackerman1979: yeh i kinda hate it too
(14:49:10) benackerman1979: but i loves it too
(14:49:11) rubbr xx duckee: hahaha
(14:49:21) benackerman1979: plus it looks good in hd
(14:49:55) rubbr xx duckee: if the actors on gossip girl were ugly and wore ugly clothes, i'd so not watch the show.
(14:50:02) benackerman1979: agreed
(14:50:04) rubbr xx duckee: (which also explains why i don't like vanessa)
(14:50:06) benackerman1979: also
(14:50:08) rubbr xx duckee: BAM
(14:50:09) rubbr xx duckee: done.
(14:50:15) benackerman1979: what if gossip girl suddenly became about time travel?
(14:50:20) rubbr xx duckee: hahahahha

Sleepless in Seattle - the Los Angeles 2009 version

So I kind of feel like I'm posting an AWFUL lot. But I'll say that I'm holding down the fort while Andrea is off gallivanting on the other side of the nation and she'll come back with lots of fun things to say. Or at least a link to pictures.

I got forwarded this while at work, from a co-worker and the email said "Is this you?" And then I read the following:



HAH. no. funny, but no. Actually, I think I my actual response was, "I wish." But actually, not really either. I wish in the sense that I wish I had had more time to sit around and chit chat and make smileys and conversations with people that I had a good "vibe" with. Or maybe I secretly wish that someone "cared" for me enough that they write a missed connections post about me on craigslist.

Which I guess brings me to another point. WHO DOES THIS STUFF?! Apparently a TON of people. But really - what are the chances that you write something like this, that ONE someone finds it and responds. Especially since there are literally pages and PAGES of these to wade through. Do people surf these ads in the off chance that someone's writing about them in the internet? Well, apparently this shit works, because we were able to figure out who it was. But sadly, girl isn't going to respond. Could have been a Red Carpet romance. I think it's kind of cute that some boy out there is willing to write about how he's been "kicking himself for the last 2 days for letting you get away." Cute. Really cute.

These things always just seems so far fetched. But it's actually within my realm of tangible people. So weird.

I'd Prefer That It Was Empty

On Sunday night, after the SAG screening of Curious Case of Benjamin Button (which I thought was lovely) but before the 9:50 showing of Nobel Son (which I thought was over the top), Jean and I met up with Shaffer for some mediocre pan-Asian food at Yangtze on the 3rd Street Promenade.

Pretty much everyone has different ways of choosing a fortune cookie after a meal. Jean likes to "count cookies." Frankly, I have no idea what this means, but if it's her way, it's her way. You don't mess with fate. I like to just grab the first one that calls to me. This is really really stange because I am not like that about ANYTHING else in the entire world. Which is a good thing, because my fortunes often suck.

For example, the one from last night:

"If your desires are not extravagant, they will be granted"??!?!? WHAT!??! In plain English:

"Aim for mediocrity and you will never fail."

Someone up/out/around "there" hates me. I'm going to tell myself that it was just a coincidence that my boss mentioned moving into a smaller cubicle today. Yeah... Coincidence. Definitely.