Girls Are Mean

benackerman: luckily i'm so stunningly charming, beth paid [for our lunch]
Andrea: nice job
Andrea: you'd make an amazing girl
benackerman: haha
Andrea: all the other girls would hate and resent you
Andrea: but they'd be nice to your face
Andrea: especially when drunk
benackerman: haha
benackerman: i'm not sure i'm happy with that
Andrea: well, that's life, my friend.

The One Time I Plan Something

... People are jerks. This is why I don't plan. Spontaneity in 2009!!

me: btw can i buy a needle and thread at rite aid or is that wishful thinking?

Jaymie: i think so

when are we going?

me: when we go get coffee

and also stop at the atm.

Jaymie: wow

crap. i have dailies

me: what time?

cuz i have a meeting at 5

Jaymie: 230

me: that's like... now

how long will they last?

i have to go over to finance anyway

we can go immediately after dailies

Jaymie: ok

wow

stop planning my life

me: hahaha. i was just going to ask you if you liked all that planning i just did.

i'm so proud.

Sent at 2:24 PM

Go Niners!

Note to The World: Don't invite Jean to watch the team you've been supporting since you were 4 years old and eating dirt during the Superbowl on their one chance at Monday Night Football success in 2008. Just don't. It won't end well.

(12:59:13) Kirk: do you realize that if the Niners had won that game we watched at Barneys, they'd be in the playoffs?
(12:59:15) Kirk: suckage
(12:59:28) Kirk: random sports update for the day
(12:59:33) Drea: really?
(12:59:35) Drea: well, shit.
(12:59:56) Kirk: I blame Jean for showing up late
(13:00:00) Drea: hm. i'm wondering what random stranger i can blame that on.
(13:00:02) Drea: hah
(13:00:05) Drea: that's a good one.
(13:00:13) Kirk: haha...similar thought process ftw

Work is Weird

Craig: (whispering) It's so quiet here today!
Andrea: (also whispering) Don't ruin it.

We hate NYE more than you.

Jean: dammit mother. she just sent me a happy birthday email she got from macy's for free shipping
Jean: wtf. too late!
Drea: LOL
Jean: orrr .. maybe she wants me to buy something else!
Jean: hahahaha.
Jean: no.
Jean: i can't.
Drea: hahahaha
Drea: thanks for including me in your thought process
Jean: are you being sarcastic?
Drea: no seriously
Drea: it's funny
Jean: haha.. okay.
Jean: cuz i don't need any more grief this week
Jean: haha
Drea: haha
Drea: word.
Drea: stupid nye
Jean: WORD.
Drea: this better be the best 10 seconds of my life.

Will The Disasters Ever End?

So, in case you missed the memo, sometime in the wee hours of Christmas morning, when Los Angeles was getting soaked by a much-needed storm, the roof directly above my pillow opened up and unleashed a unholy fury of dirty rain water from the rooftop patio above directly onto my bed.

Being that it was Christmas, I was staying at my parents' house at the time of the disaster, in my half-hearted attempt to be a decent daughter and missed the salughter. But what a nice call to receive from Myles on Christmas morning. "Hey, Dre. Merry Christmas. I have some bad news..."

Anyway, long, drama-filled story short, all is mostly well again. My disaster recovery skills are pretty sharp, being that I work where I do. I'm almost all back to normal, after a long weekend of being a soggy and displaced person.

It could be worse. It could always be worse. I could have no arms or no legs or no roof above my head. Oh. Waaaaiit a second.


me: ok, well i just have to run home and make my bed.

Jaymie: hahahah

why?

are you expecting company tonight?

me: cuz they fixed my ceiling this morning

no

Jaymie: oh

me: when i say "make my bed," i literally mean "make my bed." me: not just put sheets on it in an organized way
Jaymie: but why make it at night if you are going to be sleeping in it later Jaymie: oh

oh

hahahahaha

uh huh

Not Letting this Puppy die.

So I've recently come under fire for not being a very good blogger. I'm sorry puppy, I've been neglecting you. I think about all these things "ooh.. I'm going to blog about that." And then get distracted or busy, and it doesn't happen (but I'm still thinking about them! They're coming... eventually.) So this is my contribution for today. I REALLY should be sleeping as I have work in a few hours, plus a long night of eating and drinking ahead - but I guess I can sleep, um... later. (I would say "when I die", but that's kind of morbid.)

Part of the reason I'm up so late is that I woke up really late because I stayed up far too late the night before (I knew I shouldn't have went to karaoke...) So it's a vicious cycle. I had a lot of stuff I needed to do, and hardly got anything done because I woke up so late. One of these things is Christmas cards. Yes. I know that Christmas is over. So.. they're... Holiday cards? Every year I really think that I'm going to attempt to send out Christmas cards in the effort of keeping in touch, and getting bogged down for some reason or another. This year, I really didn't want that to happen.


Andrea told me just to give up, either because it's too late, or she didn't think I'd actually do it, or maybe it wasn't worth the effort - but I guess maybe that was good motivation for me to do it even more. Who knows. But this is me pulling out all my various holiday cards from the year and sending it out to my list. Round one... I'll finish the rest later. I'm really gonna do it. Seriously. I think I need to be better about following up on things, committing to things, taking things seriously, and actually doing them (was that all summed up by following up on?)

Sure, Christmas cards seem kind of silly - but baby steps. Next it will be responding to all emails right away, make sure everything's paid on time, making sure things I've said I'll do get done, being better at keeping my life organized and maybe one day I'll even reach going to sleep at a decent hour.

Here's to hope in the new year.

My BlackBerry is a Little Mother Fucking Bastard

My BlackBerry is a fucking shithead retard. Yeah, I said it.

Once every few months, it has a conniption and deletes all my data. And then keeps deleting it until someone (usually Jean) does something (and I don't even think she knows what that magic is) to make it store emails and SMS messages and MMS messages and call logs again.

Last night, I went to sleep and I had 237 unread messages in my inbox and 104 unread Facebook notices. I'm not proud of this fact, but what-the-fuck-ever, Dude. I'm fucking busy, okay? This is me, trying not to be so attached to my phone. (BTW-- IT'S NOT WORKING.) I woke up this morning and... nothing on Facebook and only 27 unread messages. I know it was 7:30am and I wasn't quite exactly at my peak, but I'm pretty sure something was wrong. And I'm pretty sure I didn't roll over my phone in my sleep and do anything to it. Although that has happened before -- sorry, Sumeet, for the repeated 3am phone calls -- and I wouldn't have any record of it anyway because all my logs were deleted.

Does anyone else have this problem with their BlackBerry? NOOOOOOO. No, they do not. And I know this because everyone I work with has the same BlackBerry and we all sit there and Facebook each other during meetings. Everyone knows we're doing it. What's the point in lying about it?

Anyway, I admit, when I saw that, my first reaction was "I should just get an iPhone." I'm a sell-out. And, once again, my solution to a dilemma is to throw money at the problem until it goes away. Totally hating me right now.

You know what I hate more, though? My BlackBerry. Fucker.

**Alternate title for this post: Andrea is really really white and corporate. Jesus. Shame.

And I'm Not Even Well-Rested From It.

me: i woke up at 10 this morning
me: don't know how the fuck that happened.
jean: did you wake up at all before that? snooze or something?
me: i did
me: a couple times
jean: haha.. yea, that's how it happened
me: hah
me: yeah
me: good thing no one noticed i was an hour and a half late
me: OR NOT
me: wtf.
jean: hahah
jean: you're so me.. like a year ago.. well.. when i worked for jeff
jean: except you actually have responsibilites
me: lol nah. cuz i feel really bad.
jean: HEY.. I FELT BAD.

It's Part of the Thought Process Now

me: it wasn't like a "i wanna be your girlfriend and get married and hang out with our other married couple friends" thing.
me: it was more like a "i come to SF every few weeks and i would really like to hook up with you on those weekends and then maybe you can sing to me and take me for walks around the city and we can get little star pizza together, like in movies. but probably only once a month and you don't have to talk to me any other time cuz you'll make me crazy."
ohkimho: lol!! blog that. blog that immediately.

She Just Said That

jean: but i guess i just outed myself saying that i like sluts.

That's right, my friends.

Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret.

I had to go on a mission today to buy a dress. It was complicated. It was bad luck in the form of the dress I ordered over a week ago suddenly being out of stock and a little bit of good luck in the form of a one-day-only 40% off sale at Banana Republic and a little bit of bad luck in the form of me being a XS Petite (Did I SHRINK?) and not being able to find anything pretty in my size there. So I ended up buying this purple silk number with a boat neck and puff cap sleeves and a pencil skirt. It's totally not as cute as the first dress that I purchased, which was Lorick, the real-life counterpart of Blair Waldorf's Mom's line on Gossip Girl. And blue. And had birds on it. And was adorable. But I digress!

My point is, I went shopping at the 3rd Street Promenade this evening. I was there for about an hour and a half, and 80% of that time was in the fitting room at Banana, waiting for the sales associate to dig up a XS Petite for me.

When I was done at Banana, I walked down to Urban Outfitters for a headband. That's about a two block walk. During that two block walk, I was approached THREE TIMES by young men in suits trying to introduce me to the existence of their God.

WHAT?!?

This always happens to me. I swear, when I was in college, I'd be minding my own business, sitting on a bench somewhere and all kinds of random people would just come up and literally start reading the Bible to me. WHAT!??!

What is it? Why me? What is it about me that screams "I have no faith in your God?" Aside from my voice screaming "I have no faith in your God." You tell me.

Effing Michael Phelps

Not in the "I'm Effing Matt Damon" kind of way, but in the "BOO TO YOU" kind of way.

I have this hatred of Michael Phelps that goes back to Athens. I think mostly because he got put on the relay team instead of Gary Hall Jr, who I've liked since high school. It's petty and a little silly, I know, but Michael Phelps as a person, doesn't impress me. Yea, yea, I know... won 8 gold medals in one Olympics, greatest swimmer of all time, eats 12,000 calories a day - blah blah blah. To quote Nicole: "freak of nature". Haha, just kidding. But his body is "built" for swimming. Acutally, get this: Michael Phelps has a rare genetic disorder that has undoubtedly helped in his athletic endeavours, but that may also one day prove to be a curse. That disorder, which affects 1 in 5,000 people worldwide, is called Marfan's Syndrome, a connective tissue disorder which characterized by long limbs and long, thin fingers. See, it's almost too easy. Well fine - I guess he could die someday, but I'm sure he's kind of loving his disorder right now.

[A little background note on me: sometimes when I decide I don't like something, I get really stubborn and just go with it. Also on this list: the DVR from Dish, clowns, BSG, and Cameron Diaz (she's working her way off of it).]

Another reason that I dislike him, is I just don't think he's deserving of all the "hype". I mean, I guess he's a celebrity like any other sports star, but when we saw John Williams and he played the Olympic theme there were SO many shots of him. Why does he need to be on Entourage? Is he really an American hero? No.

Today, Michael Phelps ruined my day by having his book signing @ Border's across the street from my work. This is also where I park my car. Parking lot was full because of his stupid face. I had to drive around and wonder where I should park, and technology decided to hate me today and my iPhone kept dropping calls and wouldn't hold a call for more than 10 seconds despite having all my bars. (Effing AT&T). I don't get why all these people are in line for Michael Phelps, why he has a book called No Limits: The Will to Succeed, AND this is also his SECOND book. What the heck?

SERIOUSLY. NOT. WORTH. THE. HYPE. Boo to you Michael Phelps, Boo to you.

Not to be Jerk but...

this was my fortune from that night. either my method works, or fortunes are doled out accordingly.



KIDDING.. andrea: your fortune is not so true. don't believe it for a second.

It's Not Punny

My friend is in Chile visiting his brother for a week. Must be nice being gainfully unemployed, right?

Today, he sent me an email and, in it, he said:

I am in Santiago. I can see the Andes from my brother's apt. Where are they?
At the end of his Armies of course!? Duh!

Oh, good times.

I'd Prefer That It Was Empty

On Sunday night, after the SAG screening of Curious Case of Benjamin Button (which I thought was lovely) but before the 9:50 showing of Nobel Son (which I thought was over the top), Jean and I met up with Shaffer for some mediocre pan-Asian food at Yangtze on the 3rd Street Promenade.

Pretty much everyone has different ways of choosing a fortune cookie after a meal. Jean likes to "count cookies." Frankly, I have no idea what this means, but if it's her way, it's her way. You don't mess with fate. I like to just grab the first one that calls to me. This is really really stange because I am not like that about ANYTHING else in the entire world. Which is a good thing, because my fortunes often suck.

For example, the one from last night:

"If your desires are not extravagant, they will be granted"??!?!? WHAT!??! In plain English:

"Aim for mediocrity and you will never fail."

Someone up/out/around "there" hates me. I'm going to tell myself that it was just a coincidence that my boss mentioned moving into a smaller cubicle today. Yeah... Coincidence. Definitely.

Deserving Punishment

So Andrea and I went to a Christmas Choir concert last night. Our ex-DD buddy JL was singing in it. Between the conductor lady who was "secretly in love" with her old composer buddy, the overly expressive choir singers, and eating burritos in the chapel, we found our amusement in addition to the singing. Between the two of us, we had been to LMU 3 times: me, once for high school college campus tours, and Andrea because her brother went there. We didn't know where we were going, but we eventually got there.
Just make sure that when you go to LMU, that you don't park anywhere you're not supposed to. Punishment may be a little harsh and who knows what will happen to you after that. I showed my ignorance of religion by asking Andrea all sort of questions about what exactly Jesuits were, and how they differed from Catholics. I feel a little bad because I didn't grow up with much religious experience or education, except for a little bit of Buddhism, but other than that, hardly any at all. While I'm okay with it, there's a lot of references that I feel I miss out on. Plus, then I'm an insensitive jerk face because I don't "get it". Either way, signs like these amuse me. I also parked in an IT employee only zone, but my car was still dirty when i got back, so it hadn't been baptized. Good. And to show you I'm not alone, here's a little gem courtesy of our friend Nesticle.

Ernest: jean are you getting me an x-mas present :) i need to know who to buy gifts for
me: hahah.. you should get me a gift if you want to. not whether or not i'm getting you one :P
Ernest: well I'm really really lazy :) so it's not a matter of me not wanting to get gifts. I want to get gifts to all my friends! but i would feel really bad if someone got me a gift and I didn't get one for them
me: this is so not the meaning of christmas :P. dorina and i are planning on getting you gifts.
Ernest: i'm chinese. and not religious. i don't know the meaning of xmas :)

You know you want to be like Martha, too.

Yet another reason to aspire to be Martha Stewart: This little dude right here.

My Hands Are Always Cold

How awesome are these Kate Spade Hi 5 mittens? I live in Los Angeles and it's pretty much 80 degrees outside right now -- IN DECEMBER, what the fuck -- and I still think these are awesome. For my cold, lifeless fingers. (Reason #3,786 why I don't have an iPhone: Because they think I'm dead.)

Also? Pretty much sold out or backordered everywhere. Please tell me why everything I want this season, other superawesome people all bought out before I could? (Reason #2 to hate me: Because I like what everyone else likes. ...I can't tell you reason #1, cuz then I'd have to kill you.)